Don't Just Take Up Space in Life, Make a Contribution!

(Photo: Courtesy of Lorimar Television Productions)

Before the Economic Downturn of the 1980's this was the world's vision of Dallas, Texas. I can tell you that this was not reality. It was fantasy driven by the television series, "Dallas".

When I was in high school, a group of friends and I made it into the local newspaper after forming a committee to see what we could do to save a local landmark train station from demolition. That may have been my first experience as an idealist. My Uncle felt that this was the case, anyway and came close to excoriating me for it. I didn't care. I knew I was right.

Many years later while living in Dallas, I watched with horror as the local economy, which had been built on a proverbial foundation of quick sand (real estate and oil) began falling apart. That economy was driven in modern culture by the now resuscitated television series "Dallas". However, in reality, back then the economy was built on the premise that oil would never drop below $30 a barrel. When it dropped to $9 a barrel, entire fortunes were wiped out. Jobs were lost. The banking crisis that preceded the Resolution Trust Corporation was severe and led to forced consolidation of the banking system we have today. Stock holders were wiped out in many instances. Dallas led the nation in the number of suicides and divorces for a period of years. Unlike Houston, who had a creative City Council that enabled that city to rebound quicker, Dallas was embedded in its own hell for far too long. Out of this debacle came a Dallas Morning News article about a man named Bob Maroon.

Maroon was a former executive with Perception Directions, a division of Bobbie Brooks Inc. He was a jet setter--at least he flew Braniff International regularly between Miami and Dallas! He also became a friend of mine. Maroon found himself along with many former real estate and oil executives displaced (and divorced). However, Bob was a leader and made the observation that what was killing Dallas was a psychological phenomenon I studied as a psychology major student at Southern Methodist University called "The Bystander Effect". Also known as "The Genovese Effect", the latter was named after Catherine "Kitty" Genovese, a bar manager who was returning to her apartment after work in the Kew Gardens section of Queens, New York when she was stabbed during an attack in 1964 that lasted more than half an hour. What is most shocking, however, is that 38 neighbors who witnessed the attack and heard her screams for help during the stabbing and rape by Winston Moseley--who is still serving a prison sentence---did nothing. Moseley is up for parole in 2013.

Catherine "Kitty" Genovese

(Photo: Courtesy of The New York Times)

New York Times writer Martin Gansberg published an article two weeks after this vicious attack under the headline "Thirty-Eight Who Saw Murder Didn't Call The Police". One unidentified neighbor told police, "I didn't want to get involved". Sound familiar?

This murder shook the nation and prompted research into what has been called "diffusion of responsibility" and yes, "the bystander effect" by Social Psychologists John Darley and Bibb Latané. Unlike previous blogs where I discuss using my cell phone to summon police in similar circumstances, Darley and Latane concluded that when onlookers see that others are not helping, there is a belief that others will know better how to help, thus prompting the lack of action from mass numbers of people to assist someone clearly in need of help. The Kitty Genovese murder has since become standard material that is studied by psychology majors in Experimental Psychology classes. I too studied this murder extensively and wrote a paper about it in college. I bring this up because this horrible incident was not lost on Bob Maroon. In fact, he did become involved and led an effort in Dallas designed to prompt others in the community who were employed and otherwise doing well financially to break out of their frozen state of denial and unwillingness to help others less fortunate circumstances through a daring plan.

The Interfaith Vocational Support Network

Maroon decided that churches and synagogues were a natural place for people who were too proud or too embarrassed by their under-employment or unemployment circumstances to quietly seek help. To test his theory for reasonableness, Maroon visited with priests, pastors and rabbis who confirmed to him that they were receiving a flood of requests by unemployed professionals that was literally overwhelming their financial resources.

Armed with this confirmation of his initial hypothesis, Maroon went to The Dallas Morning News and visited with Business Day writer Robert Miller to explain his radical new plan. With backing from a member of his church, The Highland Park Presbyterian Church (where actress Angie Harmon was famously wed) Maroon was provided with a small office in the Merrill Lynch Building on North Central Expressway. In an effort to galvanize forces of good, Maroon organized "The Interfaith Vocational Support Network" consisting of approximately 25 churches and synagogues who signed on to provide a meeting room with coffee and donuts on Saturday mornings where we all met. In addition, this consortium agreed to produce flyer's announcing program meetings in a cross marketing effort that involved announcements at the conclusion of church and synagogue services to congregations and flyer's distributed by church ushers and volunteers. I was 27 years old at the time and read the Dallas Morning News article before deciding to visit Maroon in-person. This was a few years before I began working in radio and television and I was layed off from a company where I travelled as a sales rep establishing retailers and distributorships across Oklahoma and North Texas. My employer filed for Chapter 11 and ultimately converted their filing into a Chapter 7 liquidation. 

I waited 90 minutes in the office building lobby to see Maroon, who was besieged by unemployed people after The Dallas Morning News article was published. A man with a large heart, a witty sense of humor and a charismatic drive to motivate others to action, Maroon was the best motivational speaker I ever met. He considered popular speakers of the day such as Anthony Robbins and Brian Tracey to be "weak". To see Maroon command a Saturday morning meeting of 60 people was electrifying. Bob directly addressed how emotionally beat up people felt and the fact that churches and synagogues had responded to his plea because they were ill equipped to handle the masses of unemployed who were in emotional and financial turmoil. His motivational talks were designed to build up our Hope! He made suggestions that involved creating action plans and putting them to work. He discussed attitudes, financial intelligence and the fundamentals of vigorous networking.

In the early days of IVSN, Maroon was the main speaker. Later, Bob would speak first and then introduce special guest speakers. We would grab donuts and coffee and then sit down and listen to Bob rally us to reawaken our drive, our creativity, our energy and involve our friends and families, wives or girlfriends (depending on your marital status of course). At the end of each meeting, Bob would ask us to bring along ten resumes and he would break us into groups. We were directed to swap resumes and network each other for the next 7 days with nightly phone calls to one another to report on our progress. Here was his biggest arsenal and it is as relative today as it was back then.

The True Definition of Networking 

A turning point during one of our meetings with Bob Maroon as speaker was his question "How many of you know what networking really is?" Many answers were given--all of them incorrect. Here was the stunner from Maroon: "Networking is nothing more than increasing the flow of quality people through your life". 

One of the things I am most proud of in my own life is that during all of my years living in Texas, I had a role in networking 87 unemployed people back to work. In every single instance, I knew nothing about a person's field. But I knew how to cultivate contacts and work them. Here in Scottsdale, Arizona I have continued the same practice because I believe we each have a moral imperative to reach out and actively help others connect with jobs, particularly when we encounter someone who is emotionally, financially, mentally and physically drained. Immediate action is called for in such instances. Still, networking is not difficult.

A Case In Point 

Two years ago, I was enjoying a rare Kettle One Screwdriver drink in the Inter-Continental Hotel bar. I met a man who was a Geologist from Canada who taught at the university level. He had four young children and was deeply in love with his wife. But they wanted a winter home in the Paradise Valley area of Scottsdale where the hotel was located. I explained Bob Maroon's concept of the definition of networking. The Geologist asked me if I knew anyone who was familiar with the housing market in North Scottsdale. We  exchanged business cards and I agreed to get back to him, stating that I had someone in mind. I was telling the truth.

Earlier that summer I was enjoying a Caesar Salad at a restaurant bar and happened to meet a married couple who were struggling. The wife was a recruiter for the resort industry, while her husband was a realtor. The husband once sold multi-million dollar homes to the rich and famous. I asked him how he was surviving in the recession and he told me that he focused now on homes that listed for $300,000 or less. Back at home, I e-mailed my realtor buddy and asked if he could possibly assist the Canadian man I met. He agreed that he could and so using the wonders of e-mailing, I put the two together. Long story-short: The Canadian man bought a house from my realtor friend. The result was a win-win for both parties. What was so difficult about that? Nothing. The only thing that distinguished me from others was a willingness to become involved and not become a bystander. So, excuses such as "I wish I knew someone in your field" is B.S. Sorry, folks but this is true. When someone has enough caring and gives a damn about solving a problem, the style of networking defined by Bob Maroon works. I know we now live in a world of Social Media. But this style of networking is just as effective.

Bob Maroon died from injuries sustained from an automobile accident. He was reunited with his beloved son and daughter during his hospital stay. He had not seen them after a divorce he never wanted and from which he also never recovered. He was a terrific guy, with a humor that rivaled the late Johnny Carson (previously featured on this blog site) and he had a big heart for helping others.

Bob's enduring legacy to me is that each of us, regardless of our circumstances can become as dynamic as he was. Do you know a friend who is under-employed or--God forbid--unemployed? Have you become actively involved with other friends in getting that person back on their feet? Are you called to do so from your heart? You don't have to "have the answer". You just need to use some creative verve and suggest some connections. Think of who you know that might be more knowledgeable than you and thus able to connect your friend back to full employment. Chances are good that even if they don't know someone directly, they can steer  you or your friend to someone who can help. How? By a direct introduction to a decision maker.

One of the failings of our society is that we have become so damned depersonalized that job hunting is largely done by Internet searches.The adage: "If we're interested we'll call you" is bunk! Maroon's networking definition is a fast track and dynamic way to walk through those barriers and get connected. I urge each of you to consider the following quote from the late Leo Buscaglia:

"I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate - it's apathy.
It's not giving a damn.


Leo Buscaglia (Living Loving and Learning, 1985)

Don't get caught up in the ugliness of becoming a bystander who doesn't reach out and help others. Instead, just imagine what we can collectively achieve if we all followed Bob Maroon's example. That is a powerful message! Try it. 

This post is dedicated to the memory of my friend:

Bob Maroon 

"Don't just take up space in life. Make a contribution!"

(Quote from Bob's personal stationary)